It’s been a difficult five months for me to say the very least. The end of March marks my two year anniversary of actively trying to conceive. Every day is a constant struggle for me. I wake up every morning feeling lonely and scared, knowing that two years have come and gone. I still walk around with empty arms. Not knowing if I’ll ever have my own baby is the most difficult thing to weigh on my mind. Lance (my husband) often catches me with a blank look on my face; knowing what I’ve been dreaming about. Today, I have decided that it was long overdue to write on my blog. I am not inspired and I don’t feel any new hope…right now. Tears streak my cheeks, because I know the pain is real. Dealing with the pain is not an easy road, but I’m learning.
There are days when my pain doesn’t haunt me and I begin to feel “normal” again; unfortunately, the feelings of normalcy fade quickly. People like to talk about their babies, pregnancies, or toddlers. I sit quietly thinking about my turn. Will I ever have one? It hurts to know about other’s pregnancies or babies, because I’m longing for that very joy. I’m unable to be actively happy for other’s babies, pregnancies, toddlers, teenagers, whatever…It might sound so insensitive of me, but how would you like to walk two years in my footsteps? I’m about one hundred and ten percent positive you’d be heart broken too.
I’ve been on the edge of reason this Month. I found out that my first fertility treatment did nothing for my body. This month I’ve decided to try a drug usually only given to Cancer patients. My doctor and I are trying a drug that is not FDA approved for infertility, but I wasn’t quite ready to move on to injectables. I’m more than my share of nerves about this treatment option. It’s a walk of faith!
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3 comments:
I hope Fermara works for you!
You have an amazing way of putting your thoughts into words. It truly touched me to read all of this.
I have been struggling for over 10 years, and the words that I just read from you gave me chills through out my body. Every word, every feeling, every prayer, every tear, I feel it. I know it as you do. And I know that he does have a plan, and as badly as I want a baby, I must wait for him to decide the moment.
Bless you, and thank you.
Dawn
Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection
2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection),urine tract infection.
4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube
5. Cyst from the ovaries
6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
7. Irregular menstruation
8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)
9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
10. Infertility for easy Conception.......
11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
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