I wanted to write about some common everyday insensitive things that I’ve heard throughout my infertility journey. Some of these comments have come from family and friends, while others have come from friends telling me about the comments they’ve received during their infertility journeys. It really doesn’t matter where or who the comments come from, they are all painful just the same.
1. Just RELAX and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. Well, I’ve been battling with infertility for almost three years (in August). I’ve tried every relaxing method that anyone suggested or recommended and I’m still not pregnant. Thanks for all the advice here, but it’s not the answer.
2. Take a Vacation and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. I think this suggest just goes to show how little everyone seems to understand about infertility. Patients undergoing infertility treatments rarely can take too much time away from their doctors and clinics, but thanks for the advice anyways.
3. Adopt and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. Wonderful! Now I have a hard time understanding why people believe that adopting a child has anything to do with conceiving. This advice can be extremely painful to the couples that feel the desire in their own hearts to have a baby of their own, which is why this can be a hard topic to discuss.
4. Maybe God doesn’t mean for you to have children.
a. First of all, I don’t know why people would say that God would intentionally take away the desire of women to have children, when the bible clearly states His desire for us to multiply.
5. Maybe God is punishing you for past sins committed.
a. God is NOT in the business of punishing his own people. Yes, I’ve felt guilt and remorse over not being able to have children. I have believed that my infertility was a punishment from God, but after reading about Hannah’s barrenness I’ve come to the conclusion that God loves his people and doesn’t bring forth pain among them.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Dear Family and Friends
February 21, 2008
Dear __________________,
It has been a very big pleasure to have the opportunity over the last year to get to know each of you more. It has always been something Lance and I pride ourselves in spending time visiting with family and friends that we don’t have the opportunity to see regularly. I have really enjoyed this past year and will continue to look forward to the upcoming years spending time with all of you.
This past summer Lance and I have been extremely grateful for moving into such a wonderful and supportive community. It has been nice to live near family and make new lasting friendships with people in the community. We feel that we have been truly blessed in that respect.
This fall I was diagnosed with a medical condition that has put our future on hold. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which means that I have cysts on my ovaries. The cysts on my ovaries are very similar to the cysts that cows or pigs can develop, but also more complicated to treat. Lance and I feel that God is pushing us to build a lasting future together and also prepare the way for a growing family. Unfortunately, it is going to be a more difficult road for building a family than we originally anticipated. Yes, we would love to have children and as of recently are going through infertility treatments.
These treatments come in the form of fertility pills, daily injections, or more complicated procedures. This cycle I will be taking my third round of fertility pills, which so far have been unsuccessful. If this round doesn’t work for us, we will be considering the option of fertility injections. Lance and I will continue to pray daily for our miracle. We ask for your continued support and encouragement from all of you. It has been an extremely stressful and painful time for us, for which we find the strength in the Lord.
I encourage you all to ask any necessary questions that you might be having, but refrain from consulting others about our sensitive issue. Many comments and advice that may seem harmless can be very damaging to the pain that we are currently enduring. We are continually grateful for your love and support, but ask that you also respect our needs for privacy. We love you all!
Love and Hugs,
Lance and Rachel Christianson
Dear __________________,
It has been a very big pleasure to have the opportunity over the last year to get to know each of you more. It has always been something Lance and I pride ourselves in spending time visiting with family and friends that we don’t have the opportunity to see regularly. I have really enjoyed this past year and will continue to look forward to the upcoming years spending time with all of you.
This past summer Lance and I have been extremely grateful for moving into such a wonderful and supportive community. It has been nice to live near family and make new lasting friendships with people in the community. We feel that we have been truly blessed in that respect.
This fall I was diagnosed with a medical condition that has put our future on hold. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which means that I have cysts on my ovaries. The cysts on my ovaries are very similar to the cysts that cows or pigs can develop, but also more complicated to treat. Lance and I feel that God is pushing us to build a lasting future together and also prepare the way for a growing family. Unfortunately, it is going to be a more difficult road for building a family than we originally anticipated. Yes, we would love to have children and as of recently are going through infertility treatments.
These treatments come in the form of fertility pills, daily injections, or more complicated procedures. This cycle I will be taking my third round of fertility pills, which so far have been unsuccessful. If this round doesn’t work for us, we will be considering the option of fertility injections. Lance and I will continue to pray daily for our miracle. We ask for your continued support and encouragement from all of you. It has been an extremely stressful and painful time for us, for which we find the strength in the Lord.
I encourage you all to ask any necessary questions that you might be having, but refrain from consulting others about our sensitive issue. Many comments and advice that may seem harmless can be very damaging to the pain that we are currently enduring. We are continually grateful for your love and support, but ask that you also respect our needs for privacy. We love you all!
Love and Hugs,
Lance and Rachel Christianson
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