The Start of Round Three

I started taking my Provera pills on Saturday night, in hopes of eliminating the side effects of moodiness and terrible headaches. I am pretty sure I haven't escaped either one today. Tonight, will be my fourth pill and I'm waiting excitiedly for my cycle to begin.

Has anyone ever been excited for a period?

Well, my last pill will be on Monday...yeah!

I'm thinking about taking Soy with my cycle of Clomid. Has anyone ever tried that before? I'm willing to try just about anything in hopes of my miracle. It's a long road with plenty of bends and curves, but I am praying that it's worth every day of infertility. I want to desperatly be holding my own bundle of joy. Will it ever happen for me? Will I ever hold my own baby? Will I ever rock my own baby to sleep?

Baby or No Baby...

When I first found out about infertility, it happened when I least expected it to. I wasn't very aware of a situation that would leave women with the burning desire for children, but unable to concieve them on their own. I was naive. I lacked the understanding of what infertility really meant to thousands couples around the world. I created this blog to help others comprehend the emotional and physical impact of infertilty.
My infertility journey actually begins the day I threw my BCP's out the window for good. I'm not a person that supports the use of BCP's for fun or sport, but for medical reasons only. I think it's very unnatural for the body to "pretend" it's pregnant for months upon months and years upon years. My BCP's were strickly for medical purposes and I never attended to be consumed by them. I wanted to settle down and have many children with the love of my life, just like many women plan on. It was March 26th, 2006...the beginning of thee end...
I waited and waited for AF to come knocking on my door, but she never came. I went fourteen months without a visit from AF. Every month I prayed for either a positive POAS result or a rush to the store for pads and tampons. She finally graced me with her presence in May of 2007. I was in complete denial of any female problems that I was contributing to. I wanted to be happy and healthy and pregnant...but I wasn't any.
Finally, in October of 2007, I decided enough was enough. I took all my questions and concerns to the small clinic in Morris, MN. I was seen by a nurse/midwife and she suggested that I see a specialist. I charted my BBT the whole rest of October and the whole month of November in hopes of detecting ovualtion. She believed that I had ovarian cysts, which was making it impossible to ovulate let alone cycle on my own.
In November of 2007, I was able to see a OBGYN specialist in Alexandria, MN. She is such a sweet doctor, which helped elevate my fears. She diagnosed me with PCOS, which explains my infertility. I had cysts that were covering my ovaries like a pearl necklace. I am still charting my daily BBT in hopes of detecting ovulation, but so far...nothing.
I have been prescribed Clomid. The first cycle of 50mg gave me intense hot flashes, headaches, mood swings, and ovarian pain. I was miserable, but so desperate for my own bundle of joy, I pressed onward towards a second round. The first round was a BUST! The second round of 100mg, gave me the same side effects as the first round. It again was a disheartening BUST! Now, I'm in the midst of my third round of 150mg of Clomid. My OB informed me that 150mg is the higest dosage she will allow. If this cycle is another bust, then it will be on to a Combo protocol. The protocol will include 150mg of Clomid and also FSH injectable hormone. I'm hoping that 150mg will make me ovulate. If I ovulate on 150mg of Clomid, then I will be able to do two more rounds without going to injectables.
My journey is far from over. I am learning the struggles, the pain, and the fear of infertility and it's treatments. There is no promise of a baby at the end of the journey. Only a promise of love and support from my heavenly father.