Insensitive Remarks

I wanted to write about some common everyday insensitive things that I’ve heard throughout my infertility journey. Some of these comments have come from family and friends, while others have come from friends telling me about the comments they’ve received during their infertility journeys. It really doesn’t matter where or who the comments come from, they are all painful just the same.

1. Just RELAX and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. Well, I’ve been battling with infertility for almost three years (in August). I’ve tried every relaxing method that anyone suggested or recommended and I’m still not pregnant. Thanks for all the advice here, but it’s not the answer.

2. Take a Vacation and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. I think this suggest just goes to show how little everyone seems to understand about infertility. Patients undergoing infertility treatments rarely can take too much time away from their doctors and clinics, but thanks for the advice anyways.

3. Adopt and before you know it, you’ll be pregnant.
a. Wonderful! Now I have a hard time understanding why people believe that adopting a child has anything to do with conceiving. This advice can be extremely painful to the couples that feel the desire in their own hearts to have a baby of their own, which is why this can be a hard topic to discuss.

4. Maybe God doesn’t mean for you to have children.
a. First of all, I don’t know why people would say that God would intentionally take away the desire of women to have children, when the bible clearly states His desire for us to multiply.

5. Maybe God is punishing you for past sins committed.
a. God is NOT in the business of punishing his own people. Yes, I’ve felt guilt and remorse over not being able to have children. I have believed that my infertility was a punishment from God, but after reading about Hannah’s barrenness I’ve come to the conclusion that God loves his people and doesn’t bring forth pain among them.