I have never ovulated in the three years that I’ve been married. In May, I had a beautiful temperature rise that indicated I ovulated. I was both shocked and realized to learn that my body was actually functioning normally. I waited with hopeful anticipation of the dreaded two week waiting period. I couldn’t resist the whole two weeks and therefore tested on 10dpo, which equaled a BFN. I also tested on 13dpo that ended the same. I was crushed and so disappointed in myself. I must remember that the Lord truly has a bigger and better plan than anything I can imagine. I should be rejoicing that I was able to ovulate and have a period on my own for the first time in over five years.
I just came to the realization that June marks the sixth month/cycle that I’ve been taking fertility treatments. I never imagined that trying to conceive would be such a long and dusty road. As sad as it is to admit, it’s hard to hear about my cousins and friends getting pregnant and having children. It’s even harder when you have to witness all their joys and changes and then look at myself and realize everything…changes. I just never imagined myself getting married and then fighting with my body to have the ONE thing that I desire above anything else…a baby.
I keep catching myself idolizing getting pregnant, having a baby, and raising a toddler. Maybe I should be focusing more of my energy towards reading my bible and studying the word. Maybe my life needs to be refocused and redirected…
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3 comments:
I'm in the same place you are...
all of my friends and family are getting pregnant and having babies... I feel so left behind! I have one son... but I so long for just one more child.
He has bigger plans.. and knows the way that He wants our lives to go... be patient.
(For me.. patience is sometimes the worst thing in the world)
God bless you!!
Dear Rachel,
I came across your blog today and have been so touched by your honesty and desire to have a baby. I have not struggled with infertility but I would love to help you pray that God would give you the desire of your heart. I could really relate to your comment about focusing more energy towards reading your Bible and studying the word...not because I have done that but because I didn't do that before having children. My husband and I now have 5 boys and it is always such a challenge for us to be disciplined and faithful to time with God. We are so thankful to have been blessed with each of them but it is a daily struggle to put Him 1st. I so admire couples that 1st have their identity in Christ. You can see such a difference in the way they live their lives and in the way they parent. May God bless you and your husband and hold you both as you seek to put him 1st on your journey to receiving your heart's desire. ~Dorla (WI)
Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD, sinus infection
2.High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection),urine tract infection.
4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube
5. Cyst from the ovaries
6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
7. Irregular menstruation
8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)
9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
10. Infertility for easy Conception.......
11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
Simply contact the spiritualist DrEka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
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